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Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Great Mormon Hope?

Mitt Romney: He's rich, bitch!

John McCain's snappy response to the skinny, elitist kid's pick of a fellow elitist as his running mate (son of a working class car salesman, ha! Commuting to Washington by train every day so he can be home with his kids! Ha! Having a "second job" as a "law professor..." double HA! Got any lattes in those professor bags, pointy headed geeks? ... Son soon to be deployed to Ira... (sigh)... more couscous, please...) is nothing compared to the fantastic roll-out our boy has planned for HIS v.p. pick ... millionaire Mormon business maverick Mitt Romney!

Together, the McCain Romney ticket has 2 wives (three if you count the one McCain ditched for heiress Cindy, and we're still working to confirm that Romney hasn't fallen too close to the 12 wife family tree...) 11 homes (8 for McCain ... so far ... and 3 for the Mittster,) a combined net worth of a third of a billion dollars, and one of them has an awful lot of hair... black, shiny hair...!

Both have "massaged" their positions on issues (but they would neeever mention it in public... would they...?)

Both are belatedly semi-reliably pro-life, and both know squat lots about the economy (whew! Thank goodness for Phil Gramm ... Okay, scratch that... did I mention Romney managed the U.S. Olympic Committee?
The day Mitt Romney took over the scandal-tainted Salt Lake City Olympics in 1999, he pledged not to exploit the role for political gain and announced that he would not accept any severance pay when he finished the job. Public records indicate he did otherwise.

Romney not only accepted a $476,000 severance package from the Salt Lake Organizing Committee, according to federal tax records, but he helped to lobby the committee for similarly large pacts for his 25 senior managers, 17 of whom contributed to his 2002 Massachusetts gubernatorial campaign or the state Republican Party soon after the Winter Games.

Romney donated the severance package money as well as his Olympic salary to charity, his spokesman says, and Romney himself says that soliciting campaign contributions from friends and colleagues is a common and legitimate practice.

In addition to tapping senior managers, Romney also solicited donations from the organizing committee's 53-member board of trustees, 14 of whom contributed to his campaign or political action committees during his governorship. Romney also received political funds from individuals associated with companies such as Nu Skin, Questar, and NBC that sponsored or did business with the organizing committee.

More recently, branches of Romney's Commonwealth Political Action Committee accepted $10,000 from a businessman and family friend who pleaded guilty to a tax fraud charge and was one of the two individuals held culpable for wrongdoing in the Olympic scandal.

All told, Romney reaped more than $1.5 million in campaign funds during his governorship from individuals and families with ties to the Olympics.

Okay, maybe we shouldn't mention that... Massachusetts! (... are they still doing that gay marriage stuff...?) Oh, and while John McCain served his country admirably as the ONLY POW EVER TO BE HELD IN VIETNAM ... EVER... Mitt Romney's fine sons also served their country with honor and glory ... on his campaign bus.

And best of all, Mitt and Mac are the best of friends ... sort of. Well, isn't hate just love, only inside-out? ... It'll be fine ... really it will ...

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